When a business friend of mine and I found ourselves comparing business to marriage, love came up. He snapped, “What’s love got to do with it” adding, “Business is business, my friend. Marriage is hell.” Well, as most business owners know, business can be hell, too, and quite frankly, not all marriages are doom and gloom.
Still, let’s stay with the marriage analogy for a moment. Certainly, when two people first feel a mutual spark, things are wonderful and exciting. And when a budding business owner decides to try his or her hand at running a business, the buzz is equally electrifying.
Courtship:
Just as couples date, an entrepreneur “courts” an idea, weighing a lot of factors, including money, management, time, and commitment. All are important parts of the process.
Nuptials:
Marrying couples certainly hope to prosper, just as a new business owner hopes to prosper. And both must come to the moment of saying, “I Do”, cementing a commitment. Well, that’s the initial idea, anyway. But what exactly are they “I doing” to?
Ah. The “agreement”. Yes. In business, it’s imperative, but what if I told you a lot of business owners have passion, persistence, patience, push (drive), and perseverance, but lack one of the most important “p”s of all: a Plan. In business, it’s important to have a clear plan and a business coach can help you build one.
Honeymoon:
For business owners, the honeymoon period may not be as exciting as bedding their bride or groom, but few new business owners I have spoken with have not felt a certain “high” after making the commitment. “I am terrified,” one admitted to me recently, “but in a good way.” And while the initial honeymoon is also a time to set up shop, get affairs in order (ah, ah…the other kind), determine roles and set goals, it’s a time of wonderment and giddiness, and then reality sets in.
Commitment:
As the honeymoon wears off and the “couple” starts looking more seriously at their future, often the topic of starting a family comes up. For the new business owner, this could equate to new product, or growth, or expansion. Ironically, when families start having kids, the husband often feels a little left out in the beginning, and when business owners expand, the spouse often feels a certain similar feeling of loneliness. A friend calls it “Ignorance” with the emphasis on the “nor”, yet it stems from a similar word of the same spelling, ignorance, with the emphasis on the “ig”. Few of us like being ignored, yet when the pressures of supporting a family, or supporting a business kick in, we’re often spending a good portion of our time “trying to keep things running smoothly” and not paying attention to each other.
7-Year Itch
And then “it” can happen. In marriage, sometimes it’s the seventh inning stretch, where we want a break and the grass starts looking mighty green on the other side of the fence. In business, we’re lucky to make it to five years, but the itch of envy and “wanting” can still creep in. My motto is “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but the business friend whom I opened this article with has a different way of looking at it. He’s fond of saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder – of someone else.” In case you’re wondering, he’s no longer married. But the point is, a weakening in our armor, whether we’re male or female, can lead us to making decisions that may not be the best for ourselves and our “marriage” – whether we’re talking spouses or businesses.
Divorce
Then that day comes, when the thin threads of reason snap. Ending one’s marriage is at the top of the list of stresses one can go through, as is losing one’s business. It doesn’t have to happen in all cases, but in some it will and it does. The thing to remember here is that love and loss whether in marriage or business, follow Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s Five Stages of Grief:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
There’s no getting around it, nor should there be. Everyone has to go through these stages when the unfortunate happens. But just as love is not always enough to save a marriage, a love for your business is not always enough to save your business.
That’s where a coach can come in. A business coach in today’s economy is almost a must to have on board to succeed. But one need not wait for the business to start showing cracks to seek help. As a matter of fact, introducing a coach right away can not only save one’s business, but can turn one’s business into an operation that allows you time to share with family, friends, and time for yourself. I cannot stress this enough.
So, back to the initial question, “What’s love got to do with it?” The answer is everything – including the ups and downs and in betweens of keeping one’s business and/or marriage prosperous. But in business, love is not enough.
And when you realize that, you’ll call a business coach.
Are you like me? Any time I hear free anymore, I freeeeak out.
